|That "cray-cray" painting I am doing right now|
I saw the crocuses popping up in the neighbors' yard yesterday. Although I know they tolerate late snow better than most, even they are not impervious to the freeze. Not surprisingly, I was relieved to observe that the overnight snow did not restrain or destroy them and they are still standing. My relief was the "not-surprising" part. The standing...that was a little bit of a pleasant surprise. It's a challenge sometimes, that "standing" thing. I was glad for them.
I have gotten pretty selective about when, where, and for how long I will do it. [I am even MORE selective about the sitting. That's a story for another day.] When I am standing I want it to be for something that matters. Talking to friends and family- Matters, finding out what's going on in the world- Matters, and so many other socially motivated things-Matter. It's amazing how many of these things could, potentially, be done from a horizontal perspective if one felt secure/comfortable enough to do so.
The act of "standing" for these activities implies a vested interest, attentiveness, engagement, and connection. But, is it really there?
When YOU stand up, what are you standing FOR?
Is it just because that is what is expected, everyone else is doing it... or is it because you are committed to the associated purpose?
During this time of bursting renewal, I am making a promise to myself to accept that NOT standing ALL of the time is okay...to remember that if standing is for emphasis, I should be fully conscious and present and AWARE of why I am doing it. Of all the things on the list of things I must do, there is really only ONE that seems to warrant this effort.
That is LOVE. Love for all things around me and the work to share that and make it known for others. If I am standing, it is for LOVE. In the act of doing that, I am just now remembering to pass that LOVE on to MYSELF. I hope that doing so shows others to do the same for themselves. We don't have to stand for anything less than love in the world.
When I consciously recognized that is what I am doing, that is why I am Still Standing, I felt relief. the pressure seemed to fade away. Pressure to Achieve, to Prove, to Do Everything disappeared and was replaced with something so much better.
Life is challenging and devastating. It is also beautiful and graceful. Those things are all bound up into one complicated whirling package of blossoms and debris shifting and spinning together. That is the nature of it.
Human contact and connection can sometimes seem over- rated or overwhelming. If we approach Each Other and Life with LOVE in our hearts and minds it seems to go much better. The whirlwind develops symmetry and balance as it spins. We become more found than lost. We see the beauty in the debris and burst forward with the blooms.
It's not as easy as it sounds but, each of us can stand up for love.
If you see me standing. That is why.