WORDS FROM MY ROOM. It's my own.
It's been a while since I posted a bloggy Thing here.
Since starting my patreon, most of this sort of content ends up there for patrons first.
As genres go, I struggle with video the most. I suspect I probably would never have ventured into this particular medium if the current era didn't require it as a tool to connect.
My first video was created in 2013 in response to a call for Arachnoiditis Survivors to speak up about their experience. Recorded from my bed, the video quality was disappointing at best...especially the sound...and I ended up adding closed captions to it. However, it inspired more videos that became sort of a series of me telling my arachnoiditis story in response to that call. As bad as they were, I kept them there, with closed captioning, because there IS something there that is useful to somebody. The response I got to those videos inspired me to begin the 2014 portrait series that became The Art For Arachnoiditis project.
Clearly, video is valid as a tool for connection.
...and still, I struggle with video.
Not the, push-the-button-remember-the-moment videos but, the I-have-to-make-this-to-explain-my-work videos. It ALWAYS feels fake and forced like I am trying to be someone else. I have tried the candid...this-is-just-me-and-my-face videos. They are usually distorted due to lighting issues or low-tech equipment and STILL, though they are candid; end up looking again like somebody who simply isn't me. I suspect I lack focus in my work. Perhaps this comes out in these videos. Maybe if I had just ONE capital-"T"-Thing that I was creating, the video output would have more clarity, too. To limit myself to making just ONE thing seems so stifling. I realize I don't necessarily have to share ALL of the things in ONE place. I suppose I could keep making all of the things but, dedicate the patreon to just ONE thing.
BUT...
In the interest of transparency ...the current buzz word... That would be quite misleading. I think my patrons should know where their money really goes. Again, it would ring false to say or "advertise" there that the money from patrons just goes to ONE thing because.... support from patrons makes ALL of the things possible. Then of course, it occurs to me, "Maybe there should be a "Front" Thing that funds the rest of the Things?" There could be ONE product-type Thing that patrons would want enough to purchase it and that income could finance the rest. Right? That sounds quite rational and logical in the modern consumption concept.
Conundrum.
I am not sure why... but, generally speaking, I am opposed to the consumption and the accumulation of material possessions for the simple sake of having Things. And so, naturally, I also wrestle mightily with the idea of becoming a Thing-maker...who must also be a Thing-seller.
There it is.
The elephant in my room with the wolf-mother wall paper.
In the interest of transparency ...the current buzz word... That would be quite misleading. I think my patrons should know where their money really goes. Again, it would ring false to say or "advertise" there that the money from patrons just goes to ONE thing because.... support from patrons makes ALL of the things possible. Then of course, it occurs to me, "Maybe there should be a "Front" Thing that funds the rest of the Things?" There could be ONE product-type Thing that patrons would want enough to purchase it and that income could finance the rest. Right? That sounds quite rational and logical in the modern consumption concept.
Conundrum.
I am not sure why... but, generally speaking, I am opposed to the consumption and the accumulation of material possessions for the simple sake of having Things. And so, naturally, I also wrestle mightily with the idea of becoming a Thing-maker...who must also be a Thing-seller.
There it is.
The elephant in my room with the wolf-mother wall paper.
(Tom Robbins knows about that room. When you have a few minutes, {read as, "Days of restorative solitude because you'll want to read the entire thing before going back to your own life"}...check out Skinny Legs and All if you want to know more about THAT room.)
Again today... I asked myself:
"What then, am I really meant to be making?"
The age old question..."What am I doing here?"
Ever so quietly, my room with the wolf-mother wall paper,
elephant and all,
whispered back,
"Resilience. Independent, Sustainable, Resilience. THAT is what is happening here.THAT is your Capital "T" thing."
and there IT is. My Thing.
Diving further into THAT Thing.
Resilience is a process. Like all processes, this one generates by-products. Unlike the nasty connotations usually associated with that word, these by-products show up in the form of tangible art that needs a place to live. I am running out of room here.
In walks a metaphor...
Trekking through the sharp bramble-covered path, it's sometimes difficult to see that even the brambles are useful. We cut them back and set them aside in order to move on to the next portion of the path. Clearing them away we slowly move forward.
What becomes of those brambles? Do we fiercely discard them, burn them with the rubbage? or... Do we use them for fuel? Can they feed the fire that keeps us warm and lights our way? Can we weave them, spikes and all, into the baskets that hold our hope and the arches that shelter our dreams?
Can we steep their leaves to nourish our souls?
Amongst their branches resides the fruit to feed our resilience.
In my studio;
Piece by piece, the brambles become:
paintings, coloring pages, mandalas, portraits, events, workshops, lesson plans, creative wellness activities, photographs, digital art, videos, opportunities for community connections, charitable creative community action projects, illustrations, poetry, and stories.
They shine the light that allows me to reside with the darkness.
I rest and rise as needed.
Independent.
Sustainable.
Resilient.
Transforming the Brambles.
In the overview, should my patreon say, "Sheila L. Kalkbrenner is creating Wellness, Art, and Events." ...or should it say I am creating ..."Resilience"?
or...should it list ALL of the actual, tangible, hold-them-in-your-hands-look-at-them-with-your-eyes Things?
or...should it simply say... "Sheila L. Kalkbrenner is creating ART."
The ambiguity of those choices , excluding that lengthy middle one, makes me wonder who would really come to the page because, in this age of tech-supported consumption, key words are "important" and clarity is key to attracting the "right" audience and finding the "right niche" for your creative work.
And after all that reflection and contemplation, here I sit trying to figure out what is the best way to communicate, "in- FIVE- words- or- less" fashion, what is happening here.
Isn't patreon here so that we do not have to become Thing-sellers? I am really starting to FEEL like a Thing-seller.
What are YOUR thoughts?
I am working on a new "Intro-to-my-studio/Welcome-to-my-work" video because this one has glitches. It's holding the space for something better...
Feed back on this one would really help inform that one.
Again today... I asked myself:
"What then, am I really meant to be making?"
The age old question..."What am I doing here?"
Ever so quietly, my room with the wolf-mother wall paper,
elephant and all,
whispered back,
"Resilience. Independent, Sustainable, Resilience. THAT is what is happening here.THAT is your Capital "T" thing."
and there IT is. My Thing.
Diving further into THAT Thing.
Resilience is a process. Like all processes, this one generates by-products. Unlike the nasty connotations usually associated with that word, these by-products show up in the form of tangible art that needs a place to live. I am running out of room here.
In walks a metaphor...
Trekking through the sharp bramble-covered path, it's sometimes difficult to see that even the brambles are useful. We cut them back and set them aside in order to move on to the next portion of the path. Clearing them away we slowly move forward.
What becomes of those brambles? Do we fiercely discard them, burn them with the rubbage? or... Do we use them for fuel? Can they feed the fire that keeps us warm and lights our way? Can we weave them, spikes and all, into the baskets that hold our hope and the arches that shelter our dreams?
Can we steep their leaves to nourish our souls?
Amongst their branches resides the fruit to feed our resilience.
In my studio;
Piece by piece, the brambles become:
paintings, coloring pages, mandalas, portraits, events, workshops, lesson plans, creative wellness activities, photographs, digital art, videos, opportunities for community connections, charitable creative community action projects, illustrations, poetry, and stories.
They shine the light that allows me to reside with the darkness.
I rest and rise as needed.
Independent.
Sustainable.
Resilient.
Transforming the Brambles.
In the overview, should my patreon say, "Sheila L. Kalkbrenner is creating Wellness, Art, and Events." ...or should it say I am creating ..."Resilience"?
or...should it list ALL of the actual, tangible, hold-them-in-your-hands-look-at-them-with-your-eyes Things?
or...should it simply say... "Sheila L. Kalkbrenner is creating ART."
The ambiguity of those choices , excluding that lengthy middle one, makes me wonder who would really come to the page because, in this age of tech-supported consumption, key words are "important" and clarity is key to attracting the "right" audience and finding the "right niche" for your creative work.
And after all that reflection and contemplation, here I sit trying to figure out what is the best way to communicate, "in- FIVE- words- or- less" fashion, what is happening here.
Isn't patreon here so that we do not have to become Thing-sellers? I am really starting to FEEL like a Thing-seller.
What are YOUR thoughts?
I am working on a new "Intro-to-my-studio/Welcome-to-my-work" video because this one has glitches. It's holding the space for something better...
Feed back on this one would really help inform that one.
PATRONS DO MAKE ART HAPPEN.
Whether you do it by "likes" and "shares" or offer resource links, notes, comments, or supplies for the Creative Wellness Wishlist, or through your subscription at patreon, here in our tiny village, or online in other places;
Thank you for your continued encouragement and support!
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BY REQUEST: For patrons not participating in Patreon, here is another way to Support the ART and the Creative Wellness Projects at the Studio
Level A $15
Level B $35
Level C $45
This is a ONE Time charge for individuals who would like to Support the Art being Made here. This payment option is intended for those who are not interested in a long term subscription or commitment at this time. This payment is NOT tax-deductible and is NOT linked to the Rewards or Terms of any Patreon Subscriptions.
Your support is greatly appreciated!
Contributions to my Art For Arachnoiditis project are tax deductible and accepted via my fiscal sponsor, at NYFA [The New York Foundation For the Arts, a 501(c)(3) Non-profit organization] "Established in 1971 as an independent organization to serve individual artists throughout the state, the mission of New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) is to empower emerging artists and arts organizations across all disciplines at critical stages in their creative lives and professional/organizational development. In 2009, we extended our programs and services throughout the United States and the international community." Find out more about NYFA Fiscal Sponsorship.
Level B $35
Level C $45
This is a ONE Time charge for individuals who would like to Support the Art being Made here. This payment option is intended for those who are not interested in a long term subscription or commitment at this time. This payment is NOT tax-deductible and is NOT linked to the Rewards or Terms of any Patreon Subscriptions.
Your support is greatly appreciated!
Contributions to my Art For Arachnoiditis project are tax deductible and accepted via my fiscal sponsor, at NYFA [The New York Foundation For the Arts, a 501(c)(3) Non-profit organization] "Established in 1971 as an independent organization to serve individual artists throughout the state, the mission of New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) is to empower emerging artists and arts organizations across all disciplines at critical stages in their creative lives and professional/organizational development. In 2009, we extended our programs and services throughout the United States and the international community." Find out more about NYFA Fiscal Sponsorship.
